“I’m telling you this is what you get when folks start working witchcraft at things like cursing the Trump presidency, or even attempting something more benevolent like calling on the nature spirits to protect the earth, you just unleash all kinds of awful shit.”
“Huh? What are you talking about? What does this have to do with anything. We have enough toilet paper for a while…”
“No, this whole thing. This virus is a demon. It makes sense to me now. I just heard something like that on a podcast…”
“Wait, what?”
“Well, they maybe meant it more metaphorically, but I’ve been thinking.”
“So what you’re saying is you’re not talking metaphors, you really mean this thing is a demon? You been taking your meds? Or have you been sneaking into mine?”
“I’m not kidding, Ben, you know about all of those mouth breathers and flat earth folks have been accusing witches of attacking Trump, and not that I would blame them if they did, and then you can also suppose that the Crowleyites in the Thelema schools, playing with their Kabbalistic flamer throwers. The green witches have been trying to invoke Pan forever. And no shit, Pan is the beginning of Pandemic – see what I mean? Meanwhile the Crowley folks have their Pazuzu invocations, a demon of plagues! See? We’ve gotta figure out how to put these things back where they belong. Damn!”
“Either you’ve been reading too much sci fi or you’re playing too much Dungeons and Dragons. And stay out of my snack drawer, I’ve warned you before about that. There are things in there, the power of which I just don’t quite understand.”